Sketchbook in the Back of My Mind

is tired

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 06:52:21 GMT

WHY do I keep having dreams in which I'm a) a male character and b) thrust into romantic situations? And furthermore, WHY do I keep going with the flow when it happens? They've yet to become sexual, thank God, because I don't know that I could handle it. I've never had a sex dream in my life and the thought of having one while I'm in a male body . . . well, the fact that my dream-self doesn't mind people touching the face when its stubbly freaks me out enough. My face is one of the few places I have a personal space bubble most of the time.

(Which leads to an interesting question in and of itself -- why does my masculine dream-self appear to have permastubble? It's prickly. And rough. And could possibly give someone rug burn if I didn't decide I wanted my face back before then.)

Yeah, yeah, I know. I need to find someone to talk with who knows what I'm going through, and being the idiot I am, I'm still terrified of asking for help. It doesn't help that both of the trans/genderqueer comms I've found here have closed membership, and the thought of explaining to a mod why I wish to come over there and lurk freaks me the hell out.

Christmas was quite fun, to massively shift the subject. The whole family's out and about (well, asleep right now) and it's really cute how my little brother and oldest cousin are so excited to be together again. My family probably doesn't get together enough. I'm kinda sad it was only for three or four days.

And I should really be asleep right now. I don't want to. I'm tired but not sleepy, I wake up feeling like I ought to shave the wrong body parts, and there is a zombie apocalypse story gnawing my brain. Maybe if I wind up dreaming as the cynical thirty-something, he'll finally tell me what his first name is. He's been going by his last since he appeared.

Hope Everyone had a good holiday!
Cheers?

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 15:45:20 GMT

I am so tired right now it's not even funny. and I have my first exam in . . . . four hours. I've studied a little, will study a little more. And I know the trouble areas, at least. *hugs review sheet tightly*

Went home with a friend this weekend, since I so obviously needed a break from campus she made the offer. She's got a two-year-old brother and a dog, and while I felt a bit like I was imposing at first, I did relax pretty quickly. We also kind of had a marathon of nineties-action flicks (and The Fugitive, which I believe is mid-eighties) that made the both of us laugh and that we would not have had had we stayed on campus.

Life's winding down. The fact that I probably shouldn't have won NaNo hasn't hit me yet, but I'm thinking of doing JaNo, even if unofficially, to make up for it, because I'll have time to do the necessary research and worldbuiling on Skylar's story by then. Maybe that means it won't. And I looked at Judas Remaining again. Maybe I can get those lst 10k written and I won't be dragging a manuscript I haven't really finished into NaNoEdMo (because I know that's one of the few ways I'm likely to tackle that beast).

Anyway, it's exam week. I haven't decided if I'm ready for it all to end, or if I want it to last a little longer so I can get used to the idea of going home.

Cheers!

I might fail

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:28:00 GMT

I am debating with myself how ethical I would feel combining the wordcounts of about four novels to get to 50k. Because barring me getting a huge word boost on the Arthurian story, I'm at the point where I probably need at least three 10k days to get there. I'll see what I can do, because I don't want to loose NaNo this year, but I don't know if I can make it this year. Which sucks.

In other words, still officially sitting at 31k.

I'll be honest here. The very reasons I might loose are also the reasons that, on some level, I really need to win. I've been depressed and sleep-deprived most of the year. There's a part of me that is shocked that my friends have put up with me as much as they do, given the tears and the complaints and the general wrapped-up-in-my-own-problems. I don't regret the four days I took off because of school work. I shouldn''t regret the days I took off because I needed the break desperately. I hadn't really written in two months at the beginning of November, and apparently I've been lacking the mental stamina to stick with one thing right now. I just don't have it. I am exhausted. I fulfilled all my school obligations and I got the go_exchange piece turned in. I've got bits and pieces of at least three novels I like.

And I feel like the only thing I'm good at, the only thing I want to do, I can't even force myself to do. Which is, of course, stupid, but that doesn't change the fact that I feel like I'm some sort of failure this year. And I can't seem to convince myself that being even a little put together is more important.

*deep breath*
*and another*

Random meme

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 15:57:52 GMT

Took a break from NaNo, because I am seriously having trouble with it, in favor of a music drabble meme. I kind of cheated (I skipped rule number one and just opened it up to whatever characters happened to be in my head, although I may do a more character specific one later, just to see if that makes things any easier or harder). It's kind of interesting results, and I'm not sure how much sense it makes, although I thought I'd post it anyway, just to see if first-thing-in-the-morning-randomized-inspiration did anything interesting.

Mostly Arthurian, although Judas got himself in there on the second song.

Also, for an asexual person I have a lot of love songs on my playlist because every single album I buy except possibly Winnie the Pooh favorites has a love somg on it! I'm pretty sure even my holiday albums have love songs on them, because . . . yeah. Rant averted, but we're kind of inundated by romantic expectations. Fortunately at least three of the five that came up were fully platonic. *headdesk*

And without further ado, meme rules:

1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Put iTunes or equivalent media player on random.
3. For each song that plays, write something related to the theme you picked inspired by the song. You have only the time frame of the song: no planning beforehand: you start when it starts, and no lingering afterward; once the song is over, you stop writing. (No fair skipping songs either; you have to take what comes by chance!)
4. Do 5 of these, then post.

Keeping in mind that these aren't polished at all. . . .

RING OF FIRE (Johnny Cash)
(Arthurian—Morgan and Kay)

The one thing Kay never seemed to be able to keep himself from doing, even when they were supposedly fighting, was running his fingers through her hair as they tried to talk it out. It tangled around them, more often than not, and she wound up either laughing or yelping as she tried to get them out. Sometimes she just let them stay in the tangled red curls and kissed him instead, and sometimes after he couldn’t remember why they had been fighting.

HE WALKED ON WATER (Randy Travis)
(Judas—beware of his angst)

It was funny where I saw him, sometimes. Well, not really saw him, I was rarely quite that drunk, but the people who got it, got it more than we had, up until maybe the end. The Peters of the world, really, who would admit they were confused and probably guilty and ask how to fix it.

They usually ended with me in the pub. Asking for another double. This one hadn’t even been working with people—I’d stopped to watch him berate someone for treating a horse—one of Gods own creatures—like that, and maybe it was only because he looked like him.

I needed to go home. Real home, not the lousy room with the bed in it. If only to tell him how much of him I saw in people sometimes.

TIME’S WASTIN’ (Phil Vassar)
(Arthurian—Lancelot and Guinevere)

These were the moments the world got it. It was the moments they got it, too, which was even a stranger circumstance, and they knew it. Lord knew Dagonet was really fond of pointing it out, and he got incredibly bitter about it, sometimes.

They were alone. You could do just about anything alone.

And Lancelot brushed her hair back from her shoulders, and helped her wipe the dirt off of her traveling cloak. “That was a nasty fall, milady,” he pointed out.

“I probably ought to get back on the horse.”

“Perhaps,” he agreed.

Their lips seemed so close right now, but what he pulled her in was an awkward, one-armed hug, and helped her back on the horse. Sometimes they weren’t worth the world, and Camelot would have a short enough life without it.

DOING MY JOB (John McCutcheon)
(Arthurian—Kay)

Sir Kay of the Forest Sauvage was vocal whenever he disapproved, demanding whenever there was something to be done, and extremely irritated whenever someone failed to do whatever it was he’d hired him for. There were days, such as when the feasts were on their heels, that the kitchen staff wondered why they liked him in the first place.

He wasn’t a cook, but when one of them nipped outside for a moment and saw him quietly talking a groom through some aspect of horse care, or working through a drill with some stupid squire for the thousandth time without a lot of impatience, or even just listening to a scullery maid about whatever it was that had frightened her, he didn’t have to be the kitchen’s help. He made the whole house work where he was needed.

WHEREVER YOU ARE (Disney Soundtrack—Pooh’s Grand Adventure)
(Arthurian—Mordred)

Mordred was six or seven when he’d finally realized that Gawaine didn’t have all the answers, that he was only a kid himself, really, and he’d never seen Agrivaine as something other than an older brother. Clarissant was a little better than that, of course; he wasn’t sure he believed her when she shrugged and said it was because she was a sorceress, but he was grateful for it to an extent. There were some things you didn’t talk to your sister about, things he thought that just maybe he’d be willing to open up to with a parent.

Gareth had never gotten that when Mordred tried to explain, because his sister was good enough for him. But he had a father if he ever needed him, and Mordred shuddered at the thought of telling Lot much of anything.

He had one, too, wherever he was, if his mother hadn’t eaten him or something. And he always wondered what they’d do if they met.

He threw another rock at the wall, because he didn’t like the strained politeness now that they had.

Because Dear God Have I Procrastinated Today. . . .

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:34:01 GMT

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

I suppose I can be evil. Sometimes. The INTP I definitely believe, it's my usual Meyers-Briggs result, just not quite sure I'm Voldemort.

Morgan le Fae maybe, but Voldemort?

Still at 20k. I need to get my characters out and about, rather than awkwardly having an argument.

Cheers!

Minor, Meaningless Griping

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 12:22:50 GMT

I probably ought to quit visiting the "review the excerpt" nano threads, since while I've gotten some good reviews which have strengthened both of the ones I'm doing this year and all in all gotten idea of what people want in my fantasy story in particular, I'm not sure it's worth the frustration associated with it. After all, when a review starts with the words "not my cup of tea" it's not going to be a helpful review at all; you would think the person reviewing would know that and move on (and then to gripe about an unclear ending while making assumptions clearly contradicted in the excerpt, when it's already clear they're not the intended audience? Gah!). What really kills me is that it was the one who said the second synopsis was confusing and not really grabbing that was afraid of being rude, when they're both legitimate concerns for the writer.

Anyway, am probably copy-pasting the reviews that were at all hepful/encouraging and bowing out of that discussion. Which is sad, because while I didn't use it much last year, the year before I loved those kind of mutual-reviewing boards. *sigh* Either people are getting stupider or I'm getting to be a good enough writer that large sections of NaNo can't help me anymore, which is kind of saddening.

Cheers!

De-Blocked

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:40:37 GMT

So since my original short story idea for the week decided it was a novel and probably my NaNo, I had nothing to write for the short story due on Friday. This is irritating.

And then on my way out of the shower after basketball today, I was presented with the following opening sentence--- "It was the fifth week of my longest stretch of artist's block in living memory when my sister told me I needed a boyfriend."

I can write that narrator. Because God dammit, I am that narrator.

I love my siblings. Or at last that's what I keep telling myself. . . .

Writing Update

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 15:30:31 GMT

I have two female lead characters! Yeah, I know, it says something about just how bizarre my gender concept is that this pleases me as much as it does. (Yeah, I realize I haven't actually talked about that with anyone here, I've just spent the last couple of months trying to make sense of it. . . .) One of them's connected to a romance plot, so I foresee some major research-slash-badgering everyone I know who's ever been in a heterosexual relationship at some point in the future. The second is the first female narrator I've had in ages that wasn't paired with a male counterpart (Robin I'm looking at you). A little alternate universe, a little dystopia (although where it came from I haven't the least idea), oh and changelings. I have about half a dozen scenes from that one, and while I'm not sure where it's going, it's quite insistent and it promises to be fun.

Oh, and I have five scenes left of Judas. FIVE! But I can't convince myself to bite the bullet and write them just yet. Dammit. I'm almost finished with the 150k+ monster that has eaten almost a year of my life. And my Arthurian stuff is getting put mostly on hold again. It's used to it, though.

Cheers!

Minor Pet Peeve Ahoy!

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 16:54:53 GMT

I need a facepalm icon.

Also, the "major legendary character is actually a GIRL" plot twist is getting really damn OLD. I don't care if its Robin Hood, King Arthur, or Hercules. Feminists eviscerate me if you must, but really . . . why the hell do people genderswap heroes in order to get a strong female character? And why does no one realize that this attitude that a strong female character must be identical to a traditionally strong male character is at this point a step backwards? Because CLEARLY moral fortitude, Chessmastery, and the ability to tear holes in other people's logic are all subordinate in strength to a lame one-liner and a BFS. Of course. Idiots.

Personal Ultimatum

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 17:19:53 GMT

I am really starting to hate this one bit character (the 10-year-old daughter of Judas's boss). She's instrumental to this one scene, and I can't seem to get a decent grip on "10 year old." Right now she's just foiling her dad by displaying a little kids curiosity towards everything WITH the willingness to ask the questions Godfrey decides are "Jude's" own damn business. And I think I have a physical need to finish this sequence today, because I am not getting anywhere and I've been working on it for a freaking month! (Granted, two weeks of that has been my various attempts to write the scene between Judas and Marty, the rest of it rewriting this damn scene).

Um . . . at least I'm writing?

Have begun economics class. We'll see how much the next four weeks kill me. Am still not sleeping the well. We'll see how long it takes until a) my body takes over and demands I sleep or b) sleep-deprivations drives me crazy enough that my family actually notices. First test went relatively well, at least.

I will finish this scene before I go home from the library. That is final. . . .

ETA: Told you I would.

Six drabbles

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 16:15:19 GMT

Have been working on Arthurian drabbles as a writing exercise. I've produced almost thirty of them, usually as 100-word character studies. Here're some of the ones I think turned out very well. I'd love feedback, good or bad. (All of them are G-PG rated.)

Enjoy.

Bedivere watched, mildly surprised, when his cousin by adoption— better known as his king— stalked into the garden and slumped onto the bench beside him. Arthur put a hand over his eyes, massaging his temples. “Do you get them any more than I do, Bedivere?”

Bedivere chucked. “Is it Morgan or Guinevere this time, sire?”

“Both!” Arthur exclaimed, then shook his head. “And neither. I think it may be me. I just don’t understand women at all.”

“Neither do I.” Bedivere reached up and plucked a flower from a nearby cherry tree. “But I thought that was half the fun.”

“On your honor?” Kay grinned, a sarcastic flash of white against his black beard. Mackenzie looked up, her tail thumping once against his boot.

The new knight drew himself up, still dwarfed against Kay’s rangy six foot two. “Yes. For all the insults you’ve thrown my way through my page years.”

Kay cocked his head slightly. “I called you a clumsy oaf a time or two, I’ll admit. But Brunor’s known as the Knight with the Ill-Fitting Coat, Gareth’s still occasionally called Pretty Hands and Sagramore Young Corpse because of me.” He chuckled. “You, boy, will have to get in line.”

“Why?”

The knight stared at him for a moment or two, mouth hanging slightly open so Dinadan could see the flash of teeth under the helm. “Um—”

“I’m looking for a friend,” Dinadan told him shortly. “I don’t see what I get out of it if I stop, concede to your whim for a fight and get knocked off my horse, twist something in the process and can’t travel quickly. He’ll just go farther afield, the half-mad fool.” He kneed his horse into a trot and started past him.

“But— but— wait!” the knight called.

“Another time,” Dinadan called back.

He wished people would stop accusing him of a lot of things. Being a shining example of honor, to start— although he supposed Gawaine would not work for that, he spent far too much time screwing up and learning from his mistakes. Lancelot made his mistakes in private and pretended he had always known the lesson.

Or failed to learn at all, he had to admit in near-deserted corners where he and Guinevere sometimes met by chance. And as he ran his fingers through her hair, he thought that if they would only be accusations, he would have no defense.

There were mornings he felt like the pre-Iseult Tristram and therefore half-guilty for leading both her and Mark on like it was a permanent love. Dinadan was usually around at those campfires, sleeping on the other side of the coals— once against his back— or plucking rebec strings while breakfast roasted. He’d find his lute in reply, singing bawdy songs that made the other knight laugh and respond with satires of love.

The post-Iseult Tristram played only love ballads that weren’t at all bawdy and sometimes composed alone by firelight, wondering how much of the old Tristram was worth missing.

Maybe God didn’t want them to find the Grail. Maybe something else objected. Either way, the storm rocked the small ship and Galahad stayed below deck. Percival, however, was nowhere to be found.

Galahad looked for him. He supposed he owed it to his sometime mentor.

He found Percival on the deck, clinging to the rail, rain running off his soaking dark hair. “Come in!” Galahad called. “You’ll drown.”

Percival glanced back. “Come out,” he countered. “The lightening’s lovely.”

“And dangerous.” Galahad shook his head. “Simple.”

Before Galahad could close the door, Percival glanced back, grinning. He’d heard. “As you say.”

Any feedback appreciated. Cheers!

Stuff

Mon, 11 May 2009 18:22:25 GMT

Home at last and looking for a job. Yeah. Ten applications thus far. I think I've applied to every sandwich shop in town. We'll see how it goes.

In the writing world, you may note that needless to say the mini-nano didn't happen. I only got about half the goal done--- a good 15k, but not the pace I was hoping for. I'm still working on Judas Remaining, and fighting a killer writer's block to top it all off. At this point, it may be partially because I'm writing bits I know I haven't properly researched and am therefore gutting during the rewriting process. I'm also a little awash in the world of I-know-the-climactic-situation-but-am-still-clueless-about-how-the-lead-responds. (I can't just do a messy, physical showdown between Judas and Felis, although that would make my life a lot easier.) Also, ohmygodIwanttogutit. All of it. I think at this point about 80% of the novel is getting rewritten in some capacity.

Finally gave in an bought a study Bible. There is a strip of sticky notes where the Synoptic gospels are.

I''ve got three Camelot stories brewing in my head. The bet is that at least one will run away when I'm finished with Judas Remaining. This is not cool. I may summer nano with one, and if the other two are still around in December they may become my actual nano.

Productive? Me? Well, I mostly managed to unpack, does that count?

Biiiiig Placemarker

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 03:20:01 GMT

Yes, I have Italian homework, English homework, and Chem homework I should be doing. Or, alternatively, I should be sleeping. One of the four.

Yes, I am writing instead. Typical.

Judas got over 100k today, and yes, I did manage to crash Marty's car. On one hand, so yeah, I managed to cross one hundred thousand words, which I realize is normal for a lot of works, particularly a story with as many ins-and-outs as this one. On the other, it's 100k. This has been the longest I've ever taken a story for about 20,000 words (although to be fair, scenes I'm going to keep regardless of the extensive revisions to the beginning, I'm probably still around 95k).

Also, my guestimation about how much I have left before the car crash was right. *dies of shock* Does this mean I might actually be right for the length of the piece for once? Probably not, but a girl can hope, right?

*throws confetti and resolves to get to the phone call before going to bed* That's not too far, right?

Cheers!

Ready, Set, Write

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:29:13 GMT

Two posts in one day? The world may die of shock.

Melissa and I commited to getting 1200 a day for the rest of the month--- kind of a mini-nano thing, based on an estimation of how much of Judas Remaining I think I've got left. She's just trying to get writing again. Me? My stated goal is 33k in 28 days, but really--- I'm finishing Judas by the end of the semester come hell or high water. I really, really need to put another novel behind me, especially this one, since he's been on my computer in some form or another for eighteen months, and in this form for five now. And this is one I want to edit.

227/33000 right now. I may be updating with word count just to keep myself on task, so expect me around (and posting) mildly more often for once.

Cheers!

Obsessed? Who, me?

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 17:09:00 GMT

It's pretty bad when my English book on Chaucer and Gender Theory just made me foam at the mouth about Arthurian legend. But seriously, if you're going to use Mallory, use Mallory, which means Morgan le Fae was an ambiguous character and had nothing to do with Mordred's birth or conception aside from being related to both parties.

Please, for the love of God . . . literary crit should do its research. . . . *whimpers piteously*

Yes, I am anal. No, I can't rant about this slip-up in my book review.

Also, I may have to write a short or a series of shorts on the swords Arthur has used that aren't Excalibur. If only because I refrained from being anal to someone else on a forum this morning. And because it's an interesting topic.

. . . . my self-announced mental health day has gone to hell. Again. Should go back to bed but can't . . . .

Cheers!

Stuff

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 16:41:22 GMT

So, I'm at home, it snowed, my siblings were off of school for a week straight (a four-day weekend plus three snow days, why does that never happen to me?) and Mom and I got kind of harried and I didn't manage to get anything done. I realize I can't objectively blame the sibs for this, but . . . it's tempting. Tomorrow and today when I get home from the library I will be desperately trying to catch up on Celtic Civ and get something written on Judas.

About him . . . I've tapped into 90k (I suspect I'm going to get to the 100k mark around the car crash---which means I get to destroy the scant stability it took 100k to build up. No, I don't hate him . . . the story just requires me to torture him, whether it be with curtains or with everything falling apart). That is, however, only about 2.5k for the entire week, and only about 5k from the last post, when I said I wa finally getting back into it. 5k! The NaNoing part of my soul wants to curl up and die.

At least it's somewhere, I suppose.

In other news, I have been consumed by the Good Omens fandom, and I might join lower_tadfield so the asexuality comm with stop eating my friends list and it will top drowning in angst (ohpleasohpleasohplease). Got new icons, too.

Anyway, I'm still alive, still writing, (sort of--- got a short story written, got an idea for another, and I want to go back and revise Sir Fool so I can start circulating them and maybe have some credits to my name when I start querying for Judas.)

Cheers!

A break in the block

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 18:56:26 GMT

I took almost a month off from writing Judas Remaining. I'm mildly pissed off with myself for doing so, but I felt like I had lost direction on the novel and was floundering, and it was much, much better to write Arthurian drabbles and accomplish whatever small thing those were (maybe I'll post some later) than bat around at an unfinished 80k and possibly spiral it into an unfixable mess.

~~At least, that's what I'm telling myself.~~

I finally got a brain storm today, for tying his conversation with Leia into more than simply his continued humanity (evident in the fact that he's still interested in, say, sex) and into other things--- such as the concept of naming oneself, which is present in the story and really needs to be brought out in subsequent drafts (Judas obviously chose another name to go by, Marty goes by the masculine nickname), and that Jude, Judas's pseudonym, in addition to being the diminutive of his given name and a Beatles' song, is the patron saint of lost causes (something Judas arguably is). Apparently Leia's Catholic. Who knew?

Also, whilst playing around with my archangels I discovered that Raphael, the patron of healers, is also considered the patron of the priory of Seattle. I wish I could honestly say I planned that. I'm using it anyway, but that's really just happy coincidence.

So, yeah, I'm hopefully writing again. God, that feels good just to think.

Cheers!

Viruses and Resolutions

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 15:45:34 GMT

I use this icon not because this has anything to do with NaNo, but because I feel as though the nuclear apocalypse bit is appropriate.

Tech support reinstalled Windows on my computer yesterday, since I got a bitch of a virus. Provided the 4G jump drive I loaded homework, stories, Arthurian Art, and a music file I would otherwise loose onto isn't infected, my losses weren't as bad as they could have been, but I'm still in the process of rebuilding my system from scratch. I am rather pissed off and currently afraid of facebook, gaia, and google image search because of it (these being the likely places I got said virus). I'm sorry I haven't been around a lot, and if either of the people that actually read my livejournal knows where I could find decent references for mastiffs, I'd be greatful (lost my bookmarks, obviously).

On a less hellishly angsty note, I shall now give the following New Year's resolutions.

Writing Related:
1) Finish Judas Remaining
2) Edit Judas Remaining
3) Query for Judas Remaining
4) Finish at least one other novel
5) Write around 250k this year. I can't keep improving if I'm not regularly producing stuff.

Art related:
6) Finish completely redoing my Arthurian folder by the end of this semester. It's a lot of art, but art's relaxing in a way writing isn't always.

Other:
7) Get my GPA back over 3.0 Yes, I am aware how sad this is. My self-motivation apparently died when I graduated highschool. :(
8) Continue to, you know, have a social life. I'd like to do all of this and somehow stay an emotionally healthy person while managing. I can dream, can't I? :-P

So, here's hoping life's going better for the rest of you.

Cheers!

Caught back up!

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 01:14:34 GMT

So, given that I rewrote all 700-odd words I actually produced yesterday (because yes, they really sucked that badly), I pulled a 3,754-word day today and caught back up from where I fell massively behind this weekend. I'm sitting at 35,215 words right now, and that is an awesome place to be (and I still may write more tonight). Judas actually cooperated with me for a while today, and I enjoyed writing enough to not feel it become a chore after the 1.6k mark (or less TT-TT) the way a good chunk of the Seattle scenes have been.

I'm back on the ball. Yippeee!

Cheers!

More procrastination

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 20:04:28 GMT

It's raining and generally not a good day to be outside, or to concentrate on anything much.

So, naturally, rather than dealing with the fact that Judas apparently abandoned me yesterday and I'm going to be stuck rewriting a decent chunk (because I wanted him to be far more proactive than he's actually likely to be. . . .), made another banner. Because I'm brilliant like that.

Actually started last night, but oh well. . . .

I'm actually fairly happy with it--- Marty's lower half bothers me a little but all in all it turned out fairly well.

Cheers!

Well, that was odd.

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 02:20:12 GMT

A light bulb just exploded. No, seriously. The lamp had been on for about two minutes, when suddenly the bulb dropped onto a pillow with a pop, smoke was emitted, and that sort of burnt electric smell accompanied it and is still permeating the room. It had gotten very hot, and after a few tries Becca picked it up with help from a couple of tissues and examined the black stuff that had been sprinkled on the inside.

We turned off the lamp and are not planning on using it again anytime soon.

In other news, my Italian homework is done and I'm a little over 19.1k, meaning I only need to get 900 words to get to 20k tonight, which I would really like to do even though I'm not entirely sure I want to write the transition chapter I'm on. At least I have a way of getting Judas gainfully employed and some idea of what he's making (about $20k a year, incidentally), so I'll be able to set things up again before Marty gets back on the scene and some serious "pulling him out of his shell" resumes.

Happy writing,
Cheers!

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 14:41:01 GMT

I may still be sick (I know I was sick yesterday), since I only managed to eat half a yogurt and decided half a dozen Wheat Thins were a good substitute for the rest, and my head is still pounding.

BUT . . . my Italian lab isn't due until Wednesday, so there's no need to panic about it, and I am nearly at 12k and past the annoying bit that I had so much trouble writing. It may be a good day despite a stomach that doesn't want anything.

Cheers!

NaNo update

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:35:05 GMT

I, just hit 10k. I should also probably be working on a chemistry assignment since I haven't started yet, but you know. . . . I procrastinate.

Anyway, here is a list of the various oddness I have learned in the past week, mostly related to characters.

1) Reaching a goal that is not one of those odd numbers is an incredibly good way to kill one's motivation for the rest of the night. But . . . I just hit 5 digits. It's awesome! (Perhaps I should decide my new goal is page 20--- aka 2 more pages and hopefully the end of the chapter).
2) The Fifth of November can safely be ignored in the US of A.
3) No one will give me an odd look if I show up in pajama pants to Italian as long as I'm on time. It's an all girl class.
4) Jesus Christ is incredibly hard to write dialogue for.
5) Judas has this incredible ability to wrap his life around things he has major problems with at the moment. He is also fairly good at being too passive-aggressive to serve the story.
6) Wikipedia may be the Second Coming. Seriously.
7) The weather does not want me to finish my NaNo, but I am ahead. I shall prevail.
8) I'm really not going to get anything else done this week, am I?

Heh. So, yeah. 1/5 of the way done. We'll see how the rest of the week pans out.

Cheers!

Judas has eaten my NaNo

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 16:39:21 GMT

I am not writing Shifting Sands this November. I managed to get 1900 words written on it yesterday, but my heart wasn't in it. Instead, I think Judas's story has hijacked NaNoWriMo.

I started new on Day 2 last year, too. This is not that big a deal.

Yeah, on November 1st Melissa and I stayed up until 6 AM in my room, talking about our more screwed-up characters, thematics, redemption, stories, and helping each other work out bits and pieces of each other's plotting. Judas's story finally achieved shape, after about six months of struggling with it. It was a wonderful feeling, necessitated the rewriting of just about everything I'd already gotten down, and kind of lit the fire to get it down on paper. (Or, as Melissa said, "Shifting Sands is fun. Judas has something to say, and he's going to insist that you say it.")

So instead of a story about another world's Crusades, NaNo has been taken over by the journey of an apostle slowly getting his act together and starting to do the teaching job he was prepared for 2000 years previously.

Hey, this way I can actually tell you what's going on in a sentence. Cool!

Cheers!

It's almost here.

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:32:23 GMT

It's Halloween. I'm sitting here going over my Italian reading dressed in my insta-pirate coat, sash, and white shirt (the tricorn goes on when I leave for class).

NaNo starts at midnight. I'm not ready. I'm really not ready. Judas isn't going to leave me alone, and I really can't afford to have him bugging me about an unfinished scene while I'm writing, and I also really can't afford to skip a day (I have 4k good days, and I can do that in two and a half hours if I know what I'm doing, but that really only explains most of the first half of Shifting Sands). I still have one scene for which my notes are "something happens and the boys leaves with Tarance". Maybe I ought to visit the weekly plot help thread on Sunday. . . .

I'm not saying I'm not excited. This is the best planning I've had for a novel in . . . well, ever, and I want to see how that plan works out. At the same time, omigodnanoisalmosthereandjudasisstilltryingtowrite!

This freak-out has been brought to you by October 31st and a sophmore nano-er who is also a sophmore college student. I'm sure I'm not the only one doing this. Minus, you know, the "there is an apostle in my head and I want him out!"

Cheers!

Sketchbook in the Back of My Mind

*is tired*

I might fail

Random meme

Because Dear God Have I Procrastinated Today. . . .

Minor, Meaningless Griping

De-Blocked

Writing Update

Minor Pet Peeve Ahoy!

Personal Ultimatum

Six drabbles

Stuff

Biiiiig Placemarker

Ready, Set, Write

Obsessed? Who, me?

Stuff

A break in the block

Viruses and Resolutions

Caught back up!

More procrastination

Well, that was odd.

NaNo update

Judas has eaten my NaNo

It's almost here.

is tired